One expensive pie

One expensive pie

Guess what, I am not writing about politics this time, it’s about a chocolate cream pie that cost me $2,000.

I bought the pie for a good friend of mine, which later that day I found out that this person sure as hell was not my best friend.

I left the house on Wednesday, April 4, 2016, to buy this person a gift.

I bought this pie at a local supermarket, plus two items for myself.

I only had two drinks that day.

I parked at a local bank.

I was sitting in my pickup with the pie and my truck had a dead battery.

The sheriff walked over to my truck and asked me several questions, and then he gave me different tests to perform, such as walking with one foot after the other one, pointed a finger at me and had me follow it with my eyes as he kept moving it.

I thought for a while he was going to make me stand on my head in a corner and stack BBs. Anyway, having only two drinks, I thought I could pass the breath test, but I didn’t.

Off to jail I went.

The following is what I paid: $1,000 fine, a towing company hauled off my pickup which cost $225, when the towing company returned my pickup and parked it in my carport, I went out to get the plastic grocery bag, and guess what, there was no pie.

I wonder who ate the $2,000 pie, I sure as hell didn’t eat it.

My driver’s license was taken away, so in order to drive again, it cost me $6.50 to take a driver’s test, which I didn’t take because Boise overruled the judge.

I had to send Boise $530 for re-instatement fee.

Next, in order to drive again I had to renew my insurance fee (SR-22), which cost $136, now my SR-22 insurance costs me $190, so if you add it up, it cost me another $1,000.

Now, after paying all that money, this is what happened to me, not related to the DUI.

A lady companion, who was driving me around, hit a deer.

I had front end damage which cost me $278, which my lovely daughter (Cheryl) paid. Thank god.

Finally, I got a letter from Boise telling me that I was legal to drive again.

The same day I got a letter from the assessor stating that my registration had expired.

That cost me $55.

Finally, after not driving for 522 days, I am on the road again.

All I can say is what Jackie Gleason kept repeating, “how sweet it is.”

JAMES L. BAKER

Kingston